Vs. Blog

haha... so yeah, I keep avoiding writing new entries... I want to keep it up, I want to express myself, but I really have trouble communicating the things that are upsetting me. Jennifer is gone, and I want to talk to her and I want to fix it, but I can't because I get too upset to call her. Sad, isn't it? I don't want to lose a friend because I'm scared. She came back into my life at a very hard time for me... I feel awful that she's had to deal with so much from me. I wish I could show her how much she means to me, and how much I would do for her if she ever just asked. I don't know why I can't get along with anyone still. I've been trying to talk to people more, but it's still hard. I still don't know if I should see a shrink. I don't want to. I got a birthday present in the mail today- it took forever!!! Rachel got me a shirt from www.piratemod.com I think I could get a portion of my wardrobe from that site... haha. Black shirts with skulls on them feel right. I got lunch with Phil the other day... We're both feeling stagnant. Neither of us is going the direction we want to with our lives... I keep trying to talk him into finding a game design school with me, but he's on a military kick again. I'd rather he not get killed, though. One of my biggest problems is that there are parts of my life I haven't been able to let go of... There's always some reason, some excuse that I keep people around longer than I should, and it keeps me from really being happy. I'm tying up my loose ends and giving myself about a month to really change things. Maybe this will really help me.